Math sux. i cant do math for nuts! omg. today's test is a real killer..haha.if i get 5, i'll be happy enough.. ew.

today, i was talking to one of my frens, n i realised tht i wasnt really likeable in rv..actually, to say the truth i already knew it long ago..i guess its my personality tht puts ppl off at times..i thought ive grown out of the stage where others' opinions will no longer hurt..what matter will be my own opinion and value of myself..but no, i realise i can still be hurt about it..

its esp upsetting when i heard tht the ones who spoke back abt me to others are my better friends..i thought they accepted me..and will take me as ME..i thought whatever it is, they've gotten used to me being me and not criticise me anymore..i thought at least we have been good frens from last yr till now? why issit tht u guys still talk bad behind me? this year? i guess its really really hurting to hear tht..since we are good frens (at I thought so), u guys can just tell me whats wrong with me, what u all dun like..so that i can be better right? its demoralizing when its my own frens who dont believe in me..i thought at least the both of u are the constants in my life and tht we are good frens for really long..but obviously u guys dun treat me as ur good fren..

im not blaming u all. im blaming myself for being this way. for these unknown reasons..these wrong or bad things and traits abt me, which i myself dont known, but still circulates around..

i really really hope that my frens, my really best and true frens, who matter alot more to me, wont do this to me..i dont think i will be able to take it then..
if u all have anything against me, please tell me straight..
and im gonna do the same thing too..tell my frens what i really feel..