went for caregroup today at cheryl's. i really enjoyed myself just chilling out with the hc ppl. watched a miraculous show--Raised from the Dead and the Passion of Christ. wow. i must say, i am super amazed. its really amazing that our Lord will suffer so so so much to save us. i mean, He could have just chose to leave us alone, or even die peacefully. but He chose the suffering way in order to redeem us. i covered my eyes 85% of the time and my ears for 75% of the time during Passion, the gory bloodshed was too much for me.. really tells me how much Jesus loves me. i kept asking myself, and also Him, why did He have to suffer so much? why not just make it simpler for Himself. then samuel ans my doubts during sharing that its all because He really loves us, He had to pay with His life in order to give us a new fresh life. so amazing. really made reflect.

i think i made the right choice yesterday night by withdrawing my application to be in fac comm, so i dint go for the interview today. sorry to disappoint yeekai, but i must think about myself more. its like, i dont even have time for God, for my studies, for choir and for myself now. why am i making my life even worse than before? its not that i'll confirm get in or what, its just that..i dont know. i just know i have to free myself in order to concentrate on God and on my studies as well. for choir too, since its syf next year, and i want to be focused. thank God for helping me make this decision. (:

although there's elections on 12th, ive decided to fulfill my obligations to my family and go for the trip. cuz no matter what, God will take care of everything. He will give me what i need, or do not need; what i can do, or do not do; what He thinks i can do for choir and what i cant do for choir. so i should just trust Jesus and go have some fun. (: yeah, makes me alot happier and more relax after making this choice. i hope its the right one. asked shaoning about it, hope she rmbs to tell me tmr (:

ooh, im really excited for church camp!
ive got this feeling that something special's gonna happen and my life will change. hope God shows me more and really help me grow. (: