im going to penang tmr.
sheesh. i wonder...

got kinda demoralised recently by how we sounded and all that. heard njc, and went totally and instantaneously into the zi bei mode. that was the kinda sound i was used to in RV and even AC. i wonder why it got lost here in hwachong.

perhaps its cuz i kept trying to conform to the hwachong way of singing, the way of doing things. in the process, i lost what i used to know and think is a good sound. no longer the full, rounded, thick and slightly darker kinda sound but the light, floaty, very impressive, cannot-blend-with-others-easily sound. why? i wonder.

thats why when i heard njc, i got so determined. i dont know what to do now, but go back to the trusted ways and methods that Ms Tham has taught me in RV. the knowledge that i hid to become a hwachonger. no more.

i used to cower under Sarah, thinking since her voice is the kind that ms lim likes, she can teach my Sops better. yes, at a point of time we did reached the standard ms lim likes. but then we became a section which cant blend with the rest (esp the guys) anymore. i didnt ask why because i thought that was what it must be, according to certain ppl. perhaps, now its time to go back to the simpler way--that is to get a full, round blended sound. yeah. i think thats what we need before we can go on to produce stuff of reasonable standards.

Lord, i need courage to do that. strength to perservere and not be cowed down.
help me.