havent blog in awhile.
wanted to find a picture to describe what God showed me last friday. but couldnt find an apt one.

a boat in a storm. a raging storm. the boat straddling helplessly in the midst of the storm. lost hopeless desperate scared. then a hand steering the little boat to shore.
i was the boat and God's hand will steer me out of this.
this msg came at the exact right time. i was feeling so desperate, so heartbroken and God really reassure me and gave me a renewed heart. hope.
just yesterday, i was disappointed once again by the reactions. felt really dejected and helpless. i thought, perhaps im not good enough, not nice enough, not caring enough. i found myself lacking. but wow, the QT passage the CLs chose was Psalm 139. how apt.

Psalm 139: 9-10
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.

i was immensely comforted. and i felt myself at peace again. then God pointed another verse to me.

Psalm 127:1
1 Unless the LORD builds the house,
its builders labor in vain.

i havent entrusted the task to God enough. ultimately im not the overall incharge. so i shld just depend on God more, and let Him do His thing. (:
yeah, thank God cuz i really needed this assurance and comfort. and where else can i get this kind of peace but from my Jesus?

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a blooming rose. falling outer petals.
i was really disturbed, very freaked by this picture that God showed me this morning. kept thinking abt it. even during QT just now, i was wondering if anything could be done? am i supposed to do smt? of course it's not only my problem, which makes the matter worse isnt it.
i know it's common for such a thing to happen. i mean, yeah, its normal. even inevitable. but how can God's kingdom, God's work be common, be normal?
God's work, His kingdom is uncommon, supernatural, supernormal. so it will not be what the world may be.
if we are to be the example of a big group that is able to sustain, if we have been so so so blessed so far, how can we fall short? no way. i believe, commonality will not happen to us if we do something about it. if we seek God about it. no use waiting for something to happen, waiting for help to come from above when we dont ask, dont fight, dont try. sounds rather radical but well, i really think its a warning. a sign of caution.

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back to choir tmr. my throat's feeling weird, which is BADDDD.
but well, i'll just have to spam water and pi pa gao.
yeah service tmr! =D