i realised that i havent blogged much lately, neither have i been reading others' blogs..so i took time today to run through i few blogs..i missed alot my friends' recent views on their lives since i havent been reading the blogs..but im glad to say that i didnt miss alot cuz i know whats happening in their lives. or most of it. that made me happy...heh. =D

up till now, i got back math, history, DRQ(economics) and compre (GP). i didnt get S for math, i got a D! ahha. to me, its already an improvement, God telling me: hey you are improving! slowly but surely! and this really boosted me to wanto try harder, to do better!
for history, at least the international part of it, ive upgraded to a B! yeah. okay, i bet alot of ppl did well, and yeah 66/100 is probably considered rather lousy comparatively. but again it shows that i can improve. contrary to what some ppl might say abt my essay skills. rahh. but then again, its not enough, i need to do alot better, so that means ive to get help!
econs!!!!disappointing so far. studied super hard, but got a what D. terrible. just praying that i'll do better for my essay! GP is atrocious. a D again. placing my hopes on essay again. rahhs.
i tried my best, so yeah. thats all.

there was this ugly and big cyst like thing on my eye for the past few days. i think it first appeared last thursday. and grew bigger and more painful on saturday. yesterday it was totally uncomfortable that i had to wear specs. in addition to the lousy feeling was the extended choir comm meeting that lasted till 945pm, feeling feverish and horrid. it was a bad day, and i was rreally feeling sorry for myself.
*i prayed for a cab and in precisely one minute, God provided a cab for kai(who unfortunately sprained her foot during captains' ball) and i, so i reached home just after 10. didnt do all the things that i planned to do, but fell asleep soundly after bathing.
woke up this morning with the cyst thing discharging some pale yellow thing (i assumed its pus). but the fever left me with just cough and headache. so i decided not to go to school. the doctor said its dirt accumulation, so i have to refrain from contacts these few days (NOO!) and i was given eye ointment plus loads of other medicine ive always get. but the doctor assured me that my eye will heal in no time and i was REALLY happy (:(:(:!

thank you God for listening to the prayers. thanks to all those who cared, prayed and asked (:
i feel lovedd. (:

my respect for johnathan kee has increased after listening to him telling us what his goal is and him recounting the experiences from the last SYF.
it gave me hope.
i dont know what, but i trust him and his views that we can definitely do much much much better than imagined. yes the word 'potential' has been overused. but to me, it is true. there is so much we can reach. and i think we really are moving to another direction, different from the rest of the choirs.
into our very own class. genre. type.
and it really boosts my tired and weary heart and pushes me to want more. to desire more. to see what we can be become a reality.

how? i think we not only need to work hard, work smart. but also with HEART and SOUL. i think we already reached a stage where pitching and rhythm are more or less done. and fixed. whatever has been said are said and it only requires us to rmb and to put it into practice and into our music. we need the heart of the music. the musicality. the soul of music. sounds abstract? but we need to feel the lyrics and convey the story. we need to interpret and describe our version of warmth.
the hwachong version of music.
added to these, i believe that we need divine intervention. we need God's strength and wisdom. and passion. so yes, yuhan! we must start the prayer group!!

these 2 weeks has been an emotional rollar coaster for me. ups and downs.
distress. hope. disappointment. joy. anger. accomplishment.
ive seen the worse side of ppl and also the loving and compassionate side of those who love me.
yet , i know God's still here. expressing His love through the ppl who love me, strengthning, molding and reminding me abt myself by showing me the ugly sides of human nature and contempt.