alot of things has been happening for the past few weeks. to me i think.
fell down, and picked up.
failed, to receive growth.
learnt about spiritual tests yesterday. think it's scary to fail tests. you feel super guilty because you know you could have passed it if you were just a little more careful and cautious.
i remembered then, that God will give us a test in 2 weeks time. i realized that i failed it miserably.
this is the biggest slide i've felt.
but i'm certain it's the best lesson so far.
God told me that it is inevitable to fall down, to feel dry, to feel weary.
but the most impt thing is to climb up. and to be back on track again.

in a sense, i'm very happy that this came now cuz i think i'm ready for this. thinking about it, i don't think i'll understand or be able to take such stuff one year ago, or even 2 months ago. precisely because i am able to take the test, to take the failure or the success, that i was given it. so i feel privileged. at least God thinks i'm valuable enough to be molded, to be invested in. yeah.
i really want to get this out of the window and start afresh. i guess it's easy to want to take care of people, to be superly concerned about their spiritual lives that you forget yours. i think that's what happened to me. i forgot that i have to take care of myself. but now i've learnt my lesson. i realized that i'm impt as well. yeps.

why give yourself more than you can take? more than you can take in a few months, in a year's time? i don't know, that doesn't make sense to me lah. but well, i want to concentrate on my pastoral ministry now. wanted to like join hope resource cuz i think it's very interesting and i'll like to know and read more books and stuff. but wells, not now i guess.

i've a secret confession. sigh.

before i end, this is something that i saw while browsing through some hope blogs. this is from yhope choirblog! quite interesting and funny. (:(: