i feel kinda detached from my life after i started working in my aunt's shop. i wouldn't say the work is easy cuz its not. in fact its really tiring, having to stand around for 12 hours, trying to persuade people to buy the watches, explaining to people about swiss movement japanese movement and about austrian crystals...but in actual fact i learnt quite a lot. i learnt to be more observant, more persuasive and to you know, be more people-minded. good social and ministry skill. i've also learnt more about the world through my conversations with my colleague , Shiv- things that the sheltered me have never heard or experienced or have contact before. and seeing the world and its happenings through another person's perspectives. Different, i must say.

i feel extremely loved by the number of people coming to bishan to have lunch/dinner with me so that i wont feel bored or sorry for myself. i feel blessed that my family in God cared enough to come accompany me, to constantly ask how im doing and to encourage me through msgs etc. i feel fortunate to have Sarah Soon come down for lunch and a very good time of catching up at Subway. to have dinner with jonathan and eugene wong at foodcourt. lunch with kelly and tianruo at pastamania. a very fruitful and insightful shepherding with tracy. yanyin, shaun and junyao coming to the shop to visit me. and my dear sheep patrice who came all the way from town and back to send me chrysanthemum tea and chat with me. my mom who prepared breakfast, pills and drinks for me in the morning. i truly feel super thankful and grateful that God gave me these people to help me get use to a new life , different from what im so used to. and to God for reminding me through this experience about how much i really need Him and how much He's so willing to provide and give me. (:

i feel sad. and disappointed. perhaps a little pissed too. i may not know you very well, but i saw and felt the change in you. and i feel so...about it. what can i say? i may not know the full story. i dont need to. but i dislike the way you are and will affect the people around you, these ppl whom i really care about. why dont you start thinking about people? do whatever with your life, just dont touch these ppl i love.

i dont really know how to handle this. in and out. yes and no. so swift, so fast. how do i deal with it. how do i cushion her? im worried, i feel at a lost. all i know is that i cannot and will not let her choose that path, no matter what happens. i dont wanna feel the regret that Shiv felt, the sorrow that grips her so strongly. God, help.

service later. im really excited because im tired and i need desperately God's empowerment and refreshment.
Jesus, help me!