i think the theme of my year,as i've realised so far is really: faith/trust.

its so...not easy. and i had faltered a couple of times. and i think there will be other times when i'll fall down. but no matter what-how dissatisfied, how unhappy, how doubtful, how annoyed, how disappointed, how defeated i feel, i will make the decision to stay faithful.

God you know what i need.
will you be my need?


okay havent been blogging for a while cuz iwas away and busy.


i received so much from the thai church camp that it'll really take days to tell you all about it. all i can say is that im inspired, im refreshed and recharged. alot. new visions. new aspirations.

im putting hope in things that are unseen.
i dont know what's gonna happen from here, but im gonna believe God and His plans for me. i'll be there, sooner or later. so yup, im gonna trymy best to prep myself for it.


i feel like doing a dance course. feasible? havent danced for years. in my own way, i'll move my body around, spinning crazily sometimes,secretly at home. i love dance, just like i love music. perhaps cuz i really love doing smt that involves listening and being emotionally encaptured and involved in the music. hahah. lyrical jazz. should i take ballet again first? hahah. im weirdd.

okay im going off for an interview soon. nervous yet excited at the same time.
peace in heart.
soundness in mind.

1J:

i wonder why im suddenly feeling this way.!
i'm gonna miss my caregroup so much when im in thailand-everyone. even though its only for a week. already, im like oh when am i seeing them again this week! then when i realised that cg's on friday i was like aww, i wanna go but cant!
haha. weird huh. that ppl of different ages, personalities and even schools can feel so family to me.

had been blog-hopping a little. not alot, a little! and whooo. i miss these ppl alot too. i guess this is the time of life when things and circumstances are constantly changing. perhaps too fast for me to catch up and adapt as quickly as i will like to, but well, i'll move on.

im listening to this song called: Centre of my Heart. and im like: oh that's my cry!

im so excited for thai church camp!!!!!
im going crazy thinking about it. althought im bringing just enough money to tide me so as to curb my spending ( im gg thailand again this june for shopping this time.!). and i feel very sad knowing that i dont have as much spending power as i like. but well, this trip ain't for shopping mann. and i have great expectations. to like learn and soak whatever i can take and bring back with me. im expecting a great transformation in me and a brand new touch from God. yay!

i feel quite bad that im leaving my classes behind to fend for themselves one week into their midyears and i wont have any more chances to see them before their term assessment. guilty. but im gonna try my best to plan the lessons so that they get as much revision as possible.

loads to marking to finish before my flight on Friday so yuppp.
i love knowing that i can still be joyful even through stressful and time-pressing times. (:


im worried because i really need this, at least i think so, as it is gonna affect how my family lives for the next few years. i really want it quite badly but will i get it? do i really need it?
i dont know.
perhaps what im thinking is short term, but my Daddy above knows the long term plans that He has for me. i'll definitely trust God in this, but hmm, i cant remove the worry that lingers in my heart.
so the only prayer i have is for God to help me be able to trust in Him more, and to have stronger and more persistent faith.
scary it seems, unreal it may be to others, but i believe that my Daddy will bless me cuz He loves me and cuz i have given my best in all the interviews i'd been to so far and also in my ministry.
so i think im just gonna continue to get on with my life, continue to try serving Him with more of myself.

Lord, i need.
more of You and less of me.